karen carpenter eats

That is, she rear-ended me out of the blue and then proceeded to tell me how at-fault I was and how she hopes I have good insurance because “that’s going to cost you a lot of money.” And then, when I suggested we just exchange information and go our separate ways, she advised me that “being a bitch isn’t going to make this situation any easier.” Huh.

(Regarding her hometown of Pacific Palisades:) “She is clearly the type of girl who is used to getting her way. No accountability. She must be destroyed.”

“Justice, with an upper-case J, will take care of her.”

“Hey, average-looking, why you got to be such a cunt?”

“I have personally put an Irish hex onto A*** M******. Done.”

“She’ll get hers. She’s a troglodyte bitch.”

I hate when people post this phrase, but it is too true for me not to say it: I love my friends.